gone

I showed how much I cared

Yet you called me crazy, annoying

And sensitive

I thought you were my friend

But you dropped a bomb on me

And left

Now I’m sitting here in silence

Trying to move on

From the damage you caused

-XOXO chana

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Summer Bucket List

It’s finally summer, and schools out 🙂 I cannot wait for long summer nights with good people. There is so much I want to do this summer. Typically, each summer I mentally take note of things I want to do. But unfortunately, I do not act on it. This year I have decided to tap into my love for lists and make a summer bucket list.

Let’s get ready for summer seventeen 🙂

Summer 2017 Bucket List:

  • Visit an Art Gallery
  • Go to Snakes and Lattes
  • Take Pictures at Graffiti Alley
  • Go Hiking
  • Visit a Vintage/Old Bookstore
  • Try N2 Icecream
  • Try Thai Rolled Icecream
  • Try Sweet Jesus
  • Visit National Parks in Ontario
  • Go to Albion Falls
  • Go on a Road Trip
  • Make Homemade Icecream or Frozen Yogurt
  • Go Star Gazing
  • Read 8 Books
  • Visit a Boardwalk
  • Try New Resturants
  • Watch the Sun Rise
  • Have a Bonfire
  • Have a BBQ
  • Watch a Movie at a Drive-In
  • Go Mini-Golfing
  • Create a Scrapbook / Get Pictures Processed
  • Have a Netflix Marathon Day
  • Tye Dye a Shirt
  • Complete a Puzzle
  • Create a Summer Playlist
  • Do a DIY Project\
  • Make Iced Tea
  • Have a water balloon fight
  • Send a Message in a Bottle
  • Take a Picture Everyday

Over time, if I come up with anything else I’ll be sure to update the list. At the end of summer, I will update you guys on what I have checked off on my list 🙂

Here’s to an awesome summer with great people 🙂

What’s on your summer bucket list?

-XOXO chana

broken

a friendship

meant to last a lifetime

13 years strong

yet you betrayed

the thread of trust you broke

sits in my hands

emitting piercing thoughts into my brain

all you are is a delusion,

a monster

a deception

a blessing turned to a curse

leaving behind a stranger

-XOXO chana

 

 

one last time

 

my soul aches to hear your voice

craving the words of all

you haven’t said

settle down your thoughts

and let the words stream

from your mouth

for one last time

-XOXO chana

 

Book Review: The Charm Bracelet

The Charm Bracelet is a heartfelt novel written by Viola Shipman. Each turn of a page just melts your heart. This book is about the charm bracelet, that is a family heirloom. It entails the rediscovery of the important of family and each charm. Each year, Lolly, one of the main characters was given a charm along with advice for her birthday. Lolly is now seventy and starting to forget her past. The story of the family and each charm is revealed bit by bit. This story reminds readers of the preciousness of family. This book follows the lives of Lolly, Lauren, and Arden.0

You must remember, unhappiness can consume you entirely, without you realizing. Happiness is a choice. – Viola Shipman

This exquisite writing brings together the 3 woman as they reminisce on Lolly’s past and charm bracelet. Each charm has a story behind that over time she begins to share with her daughter and granddaughter. This book made me realize the importance of family and how you should cherish them.

The main characters in this book all face the same challenges in life. Throughout this novel, you learn how each character overcomes their challenges and fears in life. How do you let go of your fears and do what you love? How do you cope with the highs and lows of life? How do you learn to love yourself, and pick yourself up every time life knocks you down? These are what the characters have trouble with.

This book couldn’t have come at a better time. Currently, I am dealing with finishing off high school which entails exams and summatives. This book taught me more than ever that you can rely on your family at your darkest times. Unlike like other individuals they will be there for you at the end of the day no matter what.

One reason I enjoyed this book deeply is because of the mini sentimental lessons you learn from each charm. Each charm holds a reminder for you in life such as to have fun, to let go of control, to seek out the type of love we deserve, to follow our passions, etc.

After reading this book, I have decided that my next big purchase will be a charm bracelet. As I want to continue the tradition in the book in my own life. I would like to be able to pass a bracelet on to my children and tell them the stories of each charm. Thank you, Viola Shipman.

I 100% recommend yall to read this novel. This book is a heartfelt novel that I will continue to re-read throughout my life. Your girl finished this book in 3 hours. I would recommend this book to young adult readers and anyone looking for a light or easy read. Overall I rate this book 5/5 stars 🙂

-XOXO chana

The Day My Life Changed Forever

It was like another other Christmas day, joy and happiness spread around the household. Presents being exchanged. Overall we were ecstatic to not only receive gifts but also receive them.

I was quite happy with that I had received from not only my family but also my friends. Though I didn’t need anything. I had everything I ever wanted and need in the room – my family.

Unlike like others, who do not speak to their family, they are my best friends. My parents and siblings are my support system. I know that they will always be there for me no matter what. These four individuals would drop anything in the world to just be with me at my worst. I could rely on them and depend on them. They are my heart, my soul, my everything.

After the typical gift exchange, we decided to lay low for the day. We just hung out and spent the day together with the presence of family. That’s all I needed on Christmas day.

Little did I know that the next day, my life would change forever. And let me just tell you, it was not a pleasant.

December 26th, 2016. The day my earth and heart shattered into a million pieces. It was like any other Boxing day in my household. We were not like others, we did not find joy in lining up to get the best prices on useless objects. We avoided the crowds, long lines, and malls in general. We were not believers in Boxing day and will never be.

The day flew by with us playing cards and bothering my parents. Just any typical day in my household.

Then one call would change our lives forever. It was 1am when my father received an urgent phone call. At that time I was messing around and laughing with my parents, my father got fed up and sent me to bed. Meanwhile, my cousin would be dead in a car at that moment.

I heard his phone ring. He was hesitant to answer. But he picked up anyway. I was just dozing off when I heard the word serious and jumped out bed. I ran straight to my dad. From the tone of his voice. I knew something was wrong. He cut the phone and explained that my cousin, Waldo was in a serious car accident. My father, mother, and brother drove off to my cousin’s house, while, my sister and I stayed behind.

At that instant, I could not think about anything other than Waldo. He was the only thing on my mind at 1 am. I just wanted him to be alright. Little did I know, I was completely wrong. I was hesitant to fall asleep as I wanted to know what had happened to him. I needed to hear he was fine,

It wasn’t until 7 am the next day when my brother woke me up by saying that Waldo died. At that moment I burst into tears. The man I looked up to and turned to was gone. He would no longer be walking this earth because of a careless driver. He was taken away for someone else’s selfish acts. He was gone forever and nothing could change that. He was a warrior, my superman and now he had become my guardian angel.

How could he be gone? How could god take away a 21-year-old? How will I survive? How will I get past this? How do you mend a broken heart? How do you fix this? Just HOW

– XOXO chana

My Anxiety

At some point in your life, you will experience anxiety. Whether that be your friends, a new crowd, school, work, finances or just life in general. This small thing affects the lives of millions every day. And I am one of those people.

My life flipped upside down this time last year. I had learned from my psychiatrist that I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Learning this news kept me at an utter shock. How had I not known about this for 2 years?

So you might be wondering where my anxiety stems from. Well, it all began the summer of 2013 when my mother and I took a trip to Sri Lanka. I was separated from my support system and felt separation anxiety every day. The culture shock from being in a new country manifested into anxiety and got even worse.

My anxiety comes in waves at any moment of my day. Some days I’m fine and other days its as if I’m held captive my a dark cloud. Just ask my siblings. They would tell you how lazy and unmotivated I become. The only thing I would want to do on those days is sleep in my bed. This would be my escape from reality and the world.

Anxiety, in general, is stressful. People may have anxiety about separation or in social situations. Meanwhile, my anxiety is a combination of all those. Generalized anxiety means that anything can make me anxious at any given moment. It sucks not knowing when I’ll be anxious. Some days it is a struggle to just get through the day.

Overtime, I have come to realize that though my anxiety has its negatives, it also has positive. My anxiety has led me to be more productive, as I will constantly be worrying. This has led to me completing my tasks days ahead in order to not be stressed and fell relief.  So I thank my anxiety for the greater good 🙂

What causes you anxiety?

-XOXO chana