dear diary pt.1

MARCH 2019 

Maybe I just care too much or fell head over heels for someone who doesn’t reciprocate. I feel like i’m drowning waiting for his responses. Yet all this man does is joke and tweet. I love him but I hate him at the same time. Who knew love meant staring at your phone every minute waiting to see if he has messaged you back. I know everyone is in cahoots with him planning something. This is exactly what happened last year. Man went awol, I went crazy trying to get him to respond, everyone told me to break it off he was a waste man. Then I go to my psychiatrist appt. and boom he’s there.

Everyone second of the day he is on my mind. Is he okay? Is he hurt? Did he eat? How is he doing?

I put him before my mental health and its something I cant stop.

I go to sleep thinking of him and wake up with him on my mind. The simple things remind me of him. I hear a fast car – him. I cant seem to find any pictures of us together. I privated everything and I am struggling to find any evidence. I swear I wrote everything down. I feel like complete and utter shit.

-XOXO chana

P.S – i’m here for you guys if you ever want to talk